By the time you get around to reading this, I'll either be winging my way to Texas - or already par-boiling in El Paso's 105-degree heat at my sister's house, gripping an ice cold Corona snuggled in a Hawaiian shirt beer buddy.
Vacation? Some might call it that. But honestly, any travel involving kids - particularly those like mine who never sit still - cannot technically be called "vacation." "Family get-away" maybe. But vacation? NOT!
My husband happily calls it "vacation". But he wasn't the one who was up until midnight charging the GameBoys and DSs, packing puzzle and maze books, and downloading Hannah Montana songs. That's because on the airplane, he sits in the seat across the aisle from the three of us...reading, chatting and snoozing. I, on the other hand, am sandwiched between the two kids, constantly pulling tricks out of my bag to prevent bickering, whining and seat-kicking.
The other passengers may think my kids are adorable and well-mannered...but it only takes one teasing incident to cause an entire plane-load of adults to turn on you.
I'm far from the only mom who doesn't consider traveling with the kids "vacation." It's just that we usually only talk about this oxymoron among ourselves - and only with other like-thinking moms. You see, there's a whole other group of moms out there who consider mothers like me heretics because our dream vacation involves no-one but ourselves...and maybe the husband.
A woman by the name of Jill Hudson Neal is one of those like-thinking moms. She wrote a piece for The Washington Post recently calling family vacations "a tangy lie meant to lull you into believing that a little time away will rejuvenate your wiped-out clan. Please, it never does."
Jill - I'd love to meet you someday - and spend a little spa and bitch time away from our families. It sounds like we have a lot in common.
Do I feel guilty about wanting to spend my holiday away from my family? Considering I spend nearly every waking minute with them - whatever guilt I may feel is overwhelmed by the need for a little "me" time.....which I should be getting in about - oh - say - 14 years.
Until then, I'll have to live vicariously through this old Go Go's video...and try to catch a few winks by the pool while my sister gets a not-so-gentle reminder of why she choose not to have kids.
All I ever wanted
Had to get away
Meant to be spent alone
Where do you stand on the vacationing with kids issue? Should I be guilt-tripped, or deserving of a trip sans children? Click below on "Comments" and share your opinions, thoughts or "vacation with kids" story.
Paris Hilton had her little sit-down with Larry King last night - and although I didn't watch it I enjoyed reading this review from Washington Post media columnist Howard Kurtz this morning.
"There were these revelations: Being in jail was scary. The jail food was horrible. She doesn't like being alone. It was her lawyer's fault that she drove with a suspended license."
"It was an hour of empty calories. But America, not to mention the media, seems to keep gorging. I think King inadvertently uncovered the dirty little secret: She's just not that interesting."
Larry moves on to more meatier matters tonight, when he interviews Colin Powell. (Tom Shales has a similarly sarcastic take on the Paris interview in the Post, too)