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August 16, 2007

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Heartbroken in SJ.

I have been dating a wonderful man for two years he is 43 I will be 42. Just found out he has been in a relationship (from her) 4.5 years and has homes and cars in her name. They have a son who turns 1 on Monday. She had a feeling about me and sent me an email she got from a business website I developed for him.She wants him to leave. She said he has 4 child support cases 7 children total. He has things there but last time he was there was 4 weeks ago when she told him to leave. He admits to four chldren that I know of. He was married previously divorced from another woman for total of 6 years now he told me about her when we met. He says he loves me got sick to the stomach when I told him I dont want to talk to him. Says I am the best thing that happened to him and he does not want to lose me and wants to do whatever he can to make us work. We were so close we travel together almost every weekend all of our sons we planned to blend as we planned to move together are 15,15, 13 & 6.I thought we had such a good friendship it is hard to understand how he could love me and hurt me so much. I am so crushed and heartbroken nothing can make this pain go away. I admit I still love him based on what I thought he was. Someone I could finally love and know that he loves me back. NOT! The trust issue is overwhelming and Im afraid to forgive him. He is reaching out to save our relationship or whatever it was. I like our friendship and ability to talk to each other but I asked him as close as we were he should have been honest instead of being selfish thinking he would lose me. Now I am numb and dont know if I can love and trust him going forward.

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